grandma shit on top of the toilet
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
