I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize