I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my shit smells like andre
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
