Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
