I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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