i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
