yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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