the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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