Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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