I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
