Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
