Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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