And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
