1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
