Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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