So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
