so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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