I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
