I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
