i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
