well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
