I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize