Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
