This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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