is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
