Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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