woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
