Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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