My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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