The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We left the knife in your bed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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