It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
