his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
