i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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