I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
