The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
