apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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