Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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