did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
