my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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