just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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