return my video game
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
