Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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