Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize