I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize