That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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