I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We got so high we made milksteak
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
