I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
