His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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