the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
