I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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