..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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