wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just cropdusted the office
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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