he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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