And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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