Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
