Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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