it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
