also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
