Where is the hickey?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
