I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
