Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
