life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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